Rampant Greed #1

If you have ever brought a lawsuit against a company claiming emotional distress caused by rainwater dripping on your 2008 Lexus or persistent depression after finding a small chicken bone in your freshly prepared roasted chicken dinner...DO NOT READ THIS POST! It will only piss you off.

Why?

Because I think people like that are greedy, selfish bastards that have an over-inflated sense of entitlement. If there is one thing that is ruining our civilization, it's the asinine belief that we are just one small mishap away from a lifetime of privilege and luxury.

Every time I run across one of these stories I'm going to post it here and force you to read my opinion about it (too bad I can't make the dorks that bring these lawsuits read my rantings, but I suppose they've suffered enough emotional distress already, right?) This is one of the two articles I found today:

A twin, separated at birth, sues the hospital for the mix-up. Now, don't get me wrong. That kind of sucks. I know if I found out I had a twin brother that I had never known existed I would have a lot of feelings about it. I'd be nervous, excited, curious and even happy. But would I be so emotionally traumatized over it that I felt I was owed 4.7 million dollars?

No.

Look, every few years a movie is put out by the major Hollywood studios that teaches us how to deal with this exact kind of situation. The one that comes to mind is that awful Danny DeVito/Arnold Schwartzenegger movie "TWINS". If you ever find out you have an unknown twin, just rent this movie and take notes. You'll realize that this is not supposed to be a bad thing, learning of unknown and long lost relatives is supposed to be elating, uplifting and maybe a little wondrous (unless you find that you are related to Danny DeVito or Arnold Schwartzenegger, of course).

But to sue a hospital for 4.7 million dollars assumes that you missed out on something in your life that you should have received if only you'd known you were related to your real family. Say, for example, that you suddenly learned you were the twin of Paris Hilton. In this example it would be fair to say that you were deprived your 35 years of living with a silver spoon. The best schools, the 'round the world jaunts, the cars, friends and benefits of being in the top-tier social status.

According to the story, this twin was deprived of 35 years of life with her "real" family. By the math that means she was deprived of $134,285 a year of wealth. The story doesn't say what kind of wealth her "real" family has, nor does it mention the social status of the family that raised her. But I'm guessing neither family was very well off, if they were then she probably wouldn't need to sue a town hospital for such an exorbitant sum.

Besides the blatant greed displayed by this person, I also have to wonder about her family values. After all, by stating she has suffered "emotional trauma" at learning the family that raised her wasn't her real family, what does that say about the people she called parents for 35 years? Must not have been a good childhood if you're traumatized to find out it could have been different. Nice lady.

But then she's obviously a product of her upbringing rather than her genes. I'm sure her "real" family is simply fantastic. Or maybe not, maybe that's where the emotional trauma comes in. "You mean...I'm related to THEM?!?!"